Day 227 - It's Been a Long One...

Greetings my gorgeous ones.
I hope you all had a fantastic day!
My day was all right, all things considered.
I got up at 4:45 am to be ready by 6 am to walk to our campus radio station to do my morning show at 7 am with my partner.
I went straight from the show, which ended at 9 am, to my field placement (I am studying to be an intervention specialist) that was half an hour away.
I was there until 11:30, when I had to leave and come back for a class I had at 12:30.
I had a salad for lunch in a moving vehicle, which was definitely not fun because I ended up getting dressing on my pants. (no, I was not driving)
After my 12:30 class I had to interview our college chaplain for the radio station, which was at 2:15. (it is a story about our campus Christmas service that is open to the whole community)
He talked to me until 3 pm, when I ran back over to the station to import the video from the camera I used.
I had class from 3:30 until 4:45, I came back, changed clothes because I was still dressed up, ate dinner, took a power nap from about 5:45 to 6:30, messed around on Facebook, and now I am here. :)
So yes, it has been a busy day for me. :)
I am super excited for the chance to relax tonight and watch the newest episode of Glee. :D
Food wise, not too bad today I do not think, which is good.
I cannot wait to read everyone's blogs; WELCOME to my new followers!
I hope you enjoy reading my blog, even though 99% of the time I think my life is dull as all get out.
Ha!
Hope you all had a wonderful day; off to read and comment blogs now! :)
Stay positive, stay beautiful! <3

Food:
- multivitamin gummies (+15 calories)
- Milk and Cereal Bar (+180 calories)
- 2 cups lettuce (+16 calories)
- 1/2 cup honey mustard dressing (+220 calories)
- 1 banana (+112 calories)
- pulled pork sandwich (+400 calories)
- mixed veggies (+19 calories)

Total: 962/1,000 calories

Oh my. Impossibly tiny legs. Want. :D <3

Day 226 - Oh, Joy.

Good morning. :)
I hope this finds you all well.
Yesterday did not exactly go as planned.
I got back to university at about 3:30, and proceeded to spend the next three hours at our college radio station getting work done.
I have a job there, if I never mentioned that. :)
Then one of my friends swings by and kidnaps me to take me to Wal-Mart at 6:45.
I had a meeting at 8, and walked into the meeting at 8:05.
After that, we had to take my sorority "Big" to Wal-Mart.
We had to get a pregnancy test for her.
Negative, thank goodness.
This is not the first time this has happened, of course.
Regardless, we are very happy there are not going to be any babies.
Food wise, the evening turned sour real fast.
Little nibbles here and there that I am sure are ultimately going to add up really quickly.
No more of this.
I need to focus.
The only way I am going to succeed is if I focus.
I have a very busy day ahead of me but I just wanted to post before things got crazy.
I will check in with you all tonight when I have some more time.
Make today a good one!
Stay positive, stay beautiful! <3

Food:
- multivitamin gummies (+15 calories)
- raspberry cheesecake Special K bar (+90 calories)
- bowl of minestrone soup (+117 calories)
- banana (+112 calories)
- peanut butter crackers (+180 calories)

Total: 414/1,000 calories

Control is what I need, control is what I shall have... <3

Day...225? Holy crap.

Hello there. :)
So it is day one of me getting back into the swing of things.
Yet again.
It has been an okay day so far.
I have it in my mind that I need to be 130 by Christmas.
I know I can do it.
10 pounds?
That is not so much.
I am pretty sure I can lose that relatively easily.
Especially with me going back to university for the next two weeks.
I just want a healthy BMI for Christmas.
Or, closer to healthy, anyway.
My highest "healthy BMI" weight is 123 pounds.
So it is my mission to get there, and quickly.
I am not going to be completely starving myself.
But I am going to be extremely careful about what foods I eat.
No desserts, less bread, which, if I have to eat it, will be wheat.
Lean meat, if I eat it.
Peanut butter for sure, so I get protein.
Lots of salad (low fat dressings of course) and fruits.
I am going to have to start drinking milk again as well, so I get enough calcium.
My goal daily is 1,000 calories, so that my body does not go into starvation mode.
That is the last thing I need.
More walks around campus with my puppy dog and roommate.
Making sure I get enough sleep would probably be good too.
I do not look half bad now, but there is definitely room for improvement.
My BMI is currently 28.2, ick.
I need to get it down under 25 so I am actually healthy!
My goal weight range is between 105 and 110 pounds.
That will give me some wiggle room, and a BMI between 21.2 and 22.2.
Higher than some would be comfortable with, but I have a feeling my body is going to look satisfactory at those weights.
Any lower and I think my boyfriend would worry himself to death over me.
That and I would look sick.
I have a large frame, so I cannot go too low in terms of my weight.
Current mini goal is 135.
Once I get there, then it will be 130.
I am super excited.
How have you all been today?
Remember to stay positive, and stay beautiful! <3

Food:
- 2 cups potato soup (+146 calories)
- 1 piece white bread with 1 tbsp. butter (+140 calories)

Total: 286/1,000 calories

One day, girls, one day... <3

Well, hello, there.

I do not know how long it has been.
Probably a considerable length of time.
Something I do know?
I am back.
Time to begin anew, once more.
I am currently 140 pounds of fat, and I need to change that.
I have missed you all dearly, and cannot express just how wonderful it is to have returned.
I am going to go comment on some blogs, to see what you all have been up to.
I will fill in the gaps tomorrow.
If I can even remember what all has happened, ha.
But I am back.
And I am here to stay. :)
Stay positive, stay beautiful. <3

I will get here one day; there is something glamorous about this picture, I think. <3

Day 108 - A Life Update.

Hello lovelies.
Just a quick update to let you know I am not dead or dying or critically injured.
I have just been taking some time out to refocus my life and prepare for my senior year of university.
3 weeks from today I move back.
I am excited.
I am probably going to not be around as much for a while.
Just thought I would let you all know.
I will be around every now and again, to read and comment blogs, but it will not be every day like it used to be.
I hope this post finds you all well, happy, and positive.
Stay positive, stay beautiful! <3

Day 100 - Gaining Back Control

Good morning lovelies!
Hoping this finds you having a wonderful Monday.
So sorry I have not been around much lately.
What with my boy being here on Thursday and Friday, and the weekend...time just got away from me.
Things have been...decent.
I gained again this weekend, but honestly, it was to be expected, because of all the junk I ate.
But no more.
Today, I am water fasting to detox my poor body and hopefully get rid of some of the crap in there.
I also came up with a workout schedule for myself.
Cardio on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.
Toning on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
Cheers. :)
As far as today goes, I am going to drink a big glass of water every hour until dinnertime.
I know I will have to eat dinner, I can never get out of it.
But the good news is that I will be doing two hours' worth of cardio right after dinner, so I will burn most of it off. :D
This is, honestly, probably how every day during the week is going to go.
Drink water all day, eat dinner, exercise.
Repeat.
Then on the weekends, hope it all does not go to hell.
Sigh.
I need to lose this weight.
NEEEEED TO.
More than anything.
I am going to have to start figuring out how I want to eat and exercise when I get back to school.
Any ideas?
I want to hit my UGW while I am away at university.
I know I can do it.
And with my hectic lifestyle this semester, I think it will be all too easy.
I just hope no one decides to be forceful.
Because I will rebel.
Oh, you betcha.
I like being at school more because I can get away with a lot more stuff than I can if I am here.
I think subconsciously, I purposely scheduled my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays so that I do not have a lunch break.
I am screwed on Tuesday and Thursday, though, because I only have one class that day.
Haha, great.
At least I can get tons of exercise walking the campus to make up for it! ;)
Even though my boyfriend is not at university with me anymore, he does not have to worry about me being unprotected, because I have my best friend and 30-something sorority sisters to watch out for me.
I loooove college. ;)
Hope you all have a wonderful day; you deserve it!
Stay positive, stay beautiful! <3

Food
Dinner [6:00 pm]
- 1 burger patty (140 calories)
- 1 slice Kraft Singles American cheese (70 calories)
- 1 hamburger bun (110 calories)
- 10 Ore Ida Extra Crispy fries (150 calories)
Total: 470 calories

A picture of my university campus in Ohio; I love this place! :D

Day 99 - A Poem...

Strength in a Secret [yes, I wrote this...]

Get rid of it, orders the voice.
But why?, I think.
I have not done anything wrong.
Lies, hisses the voice.
You are a horrible, horrible girl.
Evil, naughty, you are.
You knew you should not have eaten that, but you did anyway.
Now, you must pay.
Get rid of it.
Obediently, I go into the bathroom.
The lid on the toilet seat has been left up, almost as if in invitation.
I kneel in front of the white porcelain; stick my finger down my throat.
Tickling, scratching, I feel my body respond as it tries to reject the forbidden food inside me.
I retch, I choke, I gag.
Yet for all that, I gain no reward.
You are not trying hard enough, goads the voice.
GET RID OF IT, YOU STUPID, FAT, LAZY, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A PERSON!!
Not wanting to anger the voice further, I try again.
My stomach clenches, my body tenses, as the tickling of my finger in the back of my throat begins to yield results.
Although my nose runs in earnest, and tears pour from my eyes, the first splashes of color appear in the transparent pool.
Exhilarated, I keep up the routine until all I have consumed is sitting under my nose.
The reds, blues, greens, and yellows of a complete and utter loss of control.
The control that I hold so dear.
That is more like it, pipes the voice.
And to think, you could have avoided this, if you were stronger.
As I stare at my forbidden feast floating in front of me, I feel a sense of accomplishment.
I put the lid down, flush, and know without a doubt that somehow, I AM strong.
Stronger than any food will ever be, with the voice in my head to guide me.
I smile, for no one knows my secret.
And they never will.